Wow, week 4. What is there to say about week 4. It's definitely my least successful. I didn't keep up with my old lengths. I had a goal to bump each sit up to 20 minutes, instead I dwindled down to 5 most days. It's mostly stress about my health and finances, which as far as woes go isn't so bad. I could be having to worry about where I'm sleeping at night or whether or not I'll have food tomorrow. Everyone is the martyr in their own lives though, aren't they?
Part of being a Buddhist is about learning to have a mindful response to both the ups and the downs of life. Instead of becoming lost in the ecstasy of a happy moment or depressed from some bad news, you approach each event with the mindfulness you foster during meditation. Understand the feelings but do not get swept up in them.
You see, in Buddhism there is a concept of dukkha which is best described (in this context) as 'non-rightness'. I like to think of it as always being "two degrees off good". When you are living your life in the day to day and suddenly you get this morose, odd feeling, that's your "two degrees" moment. It's the gulf between right now and happy. It's the expectation of being happy but not quite being there.
I've let dukkha regain a foothold in my practice. Or I've let my practice take me to a positive place often, wondering at my thoughts instead of observing them. For the first time I'm faced with dukkha, and I realize I must push on. I must meet it rather then withdraw early and give up to it.
I'll push on.
No comments:
Post a Comment